Sunday, August 10, 2008

I feel best when…I’ve adhered to my weekly schedule effectively.
No one but me knows… that I want to be a *toooooot*…secret!
When it’s rainy I … often get lonesome and useless.
My favorite activity… would be engaging myself in different kinds of sports.
On weekends I like to … sleep a lot, pig out, watch endlessly and read.
When I’m bored… I hate myself.
Sometimes I like to… daydream about my future life.
If only my teacher… didn’t spread my “embarrassing stupidity” back in high school.
The best time I ever had … was when me, my daddy and mama went to Star City when I was a kid.
Something strange that I saw … was a nude and drunk guy on the driver seat at 6 am at the rear gate of UST. *shocking!*
What I dislike most about school… status in life somehow dictates the quality of education a child could get
When I first wake up … I check my phone, plug in the tv for news and do my personal morning routines.
I was really embarrassed … when I bawled during my valedictory speech in front of teachers, parents, and batch mates.
I’m glad my best friend … didn’t have a romantic love towards me.
It makes me tired when … after a long exhausting day, I don’t have something to look forward to, to release my stress.
When I am grouchy … I eat sinful foods, cry and sleep early.
At times I’d like to … to be a typical someone.
A friend would not … judge you for what you’ve done, either good or bad.
I wish my parents … met at the right time.
Having a pet… is one of the few things I haven’t done.
I really enjoy … out of town trips, traveling and nature tripping.
If I had three wishes … it would be to fulfill my dreams for my mama, kuya and myself, to have a wonderful family in the future and to be happy always.
Playing games … give me confidence.
What really drives me crazy … are breads, books and dvd series, magazines, recipe books, sewing, my students, how unrated the teachers are, kalbo and stocky guys
When I’m older … I’ll be a good mom, a loving wife, a more mature and more responsible Christian, a successful doctor, a traveler and still a teacher.
Homework … thank God, I don’t have it now.
What I like most about myself … is I forgive me.
I can best be described as … Juday look a like???? Waaaahhhh!!!!!!
Something that makes me laugh … are the things people consider as not funny.
I get angry when … I don’t know… seriously.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The Gentleman Player

It was the first time that this girl had ever known that something called love. It didn’t start as an infatuation, like it usually does in common love stories. This was something let us say magical. Yes, even at a young age of 10, she understood how the magic of love could change how she saw things.

It was a typical afternoon in the field. After school hour at around 5 pm, this was the time when coaches and players would rush in the quadrangle to practice. Girls and boys and sometimes gays were also there to see their crushes play. This time was one of the most exciting times of the day for her, aside from recess and lunch times. She was not one of the on lookers. She was the one playing volleyball in the field. The sport she never had an interest at first. She was just compelled to join because she was one of the big girls in the room who the coach hand picked because she thought she would be of help in the court, having an extra weight and height, she could intimidate the opponents. But it was never like that because she was not an ace player, never born to be one. She was satisfied sitting on the bench during actual games, though she was a little bit ashamed of it especially when people call her water girl. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t wish to be in that situation in the first place, so not affected at all. And who cared anyway?

District meet was nearing so all volleyball players, girls and boys, were double timing in practicing. That particular afternoon, she was feeling so bad. Her services were not good; her performance was a justification that she would not be better than a bench player. She couldn’t get her groove while everyone was playing well. She was losing the little confidence she had. Then, he approached her and helped her out. He got the ball and smoothly showed her how to properly receive as well as to return it. He talked like an expert. It was obvious he knew his craft and was very good at it. He gave instruction as if it was so uncomplicated. He made volleyball so easy. She couldn’t remember if it was only her he was teaching or the rest of the team. He looked so handsome, and that’s what mattered. Surprisingly, it seemed weird. She was seeing him every single school day, being in the same section for the last five years, but it was just that day that he began to exist in her world. That day had changed a lot of things in her life. This gave her a reason to be early in school everyday, to try to look prim and proper all the time, to get higher grades and aim for top position in the classroom. Every glimpse, every conversation, every exchange of papers during exams, every time they seated on the same row, every time he gave compliments and congratulations, everything started to be meaningful all of a sudden. She was inspired. She had a crush, a real one. She made “kulot” as his code name so she could talk about him unreservedly with her best friend. He made her school days perfect all the time. He never knew, though his friends noticed. And it ended like that, just like that, but she was happy because she was in love.

Another four years passed. He continued to be this talented-star-player-awed-by-many type of student. Though they went to the same school, all she could do was to stare at him from afar. She’d always want to approach him and say hi, but she never had the guts to do it. She was sure she’ll be dumb struck by his presence. She hated it that he was growing up as a good looking guy. More and more, she was losing hope that he would notice her. Every time she’d go to school earlier, seeing him was a big marvel for her. Their lives were so different, she was striving to be an excellent student, and he was making a name for himself as a viable player. They had different priorities.

One day, she felt she died when she found out he was involved with someone, someone prettier than her. That was like a bullet perfectly aimed at her heart. There were endless crying nights and pathetic moments. It made her insecure and made her question what was wrong with her. It seemed that whatever she worked hard for was meaningless. She lost hope that love really exists. It was her dream to be with him. More friends knew about this. They tried to console her, to cheer her up and to make her realize that she could move on. But they were all wrong. Her heart was the most stubborn heart in the world. She loved him. That’s what mattered. She would wait and selfishly wished that he’d be single again, but it didn’t happen. He was a great guy inside and outside the court. That made her more in loved with him.

When would she move on? That was her sole question. She wanted to stop dreaming that he’s the man with whom she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. More than a decade of loving him was too much to bear. She wanted the hope to leave her alone, but it’s as stubborn as her.

If there’s one thing she learned from this, it is that in high school, love may not be forever.