Move Forward, Not Back

I couldn’t sleep the past few days. I was thinking and thinking, feeling guilty for what I’ve done to her and to myself especially. The only thing I did was to be honest and be open for whatever I was feeling. And despite of this, he still put me into this situation where I am a loser both ways. When he told me about it, I was fine and took it as it was. But then, I think I wasn’t able to react the way I should because I was too insensitive of my own pain. He asked me to hold on and wait for the right time so he can fix everything for us. That us crossing paths again after more than five years could really mean something. I know he didn’t intend to do this but it was done already and he can not bring back the time.

I can’t move on still because I need time to deal with this anger towards him and towards myself, but I know I have nothing to go back to and the only choice I have right now is to do what is right and move forward. :(