playing with the rules is fair enough for me

More or less five years from now, I want to be a wife, a happily married wife. I kinda picture myself, how would I be like when that time comes. It’s amazing because I know I will be a good one, that one I am quite sure.

But who’s gonna be my husband, is a different thing. The status could be like…am still waiting.

I’ve met a few guys whom I prayed and dreamed to be that guy I can be with for the rest of my life, but so far, not so good. They just come and go, which really makes me sad and think twice what could be wrong. I try to figure it out, the reasons why it never came to a point that it was mutual or serious enough to be called a relationship. It’s either they are not available, good for just pakiramdaman or too immature to be in a relationship. It’s always me investing the feeling, but they’re the one who profit from it. Now let’s talk about unfairness!

The thing is, I’m too conservative when it comes to this kind of thing. I am not a fan of flings (no offense…), but I just don’t believe in that. If I would be with someone, for sure it’ll last.

I never learned my lesson though, so many times it happened, just the same story, me falling in, hurting for a long time, falling out with a broken heart. I am just too stubborn and unaware of the rules of this game. The thing is I stick with the rules.

I may not be gaining anything from this, but playing it fairly is a reason enough for me to believe that one day, I’ll be meeting my prince charming.